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Declining welcome lunch invitation at new job due to Ramadan


What could be done as a going-away party for a coworker who observes Ramadan?Is it generally unacceptable to become close friends with colleagues?How to politely decline a job offer based on work environment didn't seem comfortable?Handling mandatory lunch breaks after signing an offerHow can I drop a polite hint to a coworker to stop pestering me with daily questions about my lunch?Ignored at new work placeWhat is the best way to politely decline invitations to go for drinks with work colleagues?Starting a new job and disclosing pregnancyEmployee (my direct report) underperforming due to religious fasting - how to address?What really is true equalityHow much time/ Is it reasonable to ask for an extension in start date?






.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__bot-mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;








60















I am starting a new position next month and I have been kindly invited to a team lunch. I would love to go, but due to the month of Ramadan I will be fasting during the day - no food or drinks allowed. I am not sure if it would be rude to decline their offer. I could ask them to delay it by 1 month but then that is no longer a welcome lunch.










share|improve this question



















  • 43





    As a boss, I can tell you that if anything, I would be the one embarrassed about this. I should have been more aware of the situation, and I would be embarrassed for not thinking about this in the first place. Just kindly remind your boss that it is Ramadan, and I am sure that they will be accommodating.

    – bremen_matt
    Apr 29 at 13:42






  • 6





    Is the team lunch a welcome lunch for you or is it a regular activity that you're now invited to as a member of the team?

    – Alexandre Aubrey
    Apr 29 at 13:45






  • 19





    @bremen_matt: Why would you be embarrassed? Religion should be a choice, at least in theory. In many countries, it would be illegal to ask candidates about their religion or lack thereof.

    – Eric Duminil
    Apr 29 at 14:47






  • 21





    @AlexandreAubrey The lunch was specifically arranged for me. They were happy to delay it by a month.

    – uex
    Apr 29 at 14:49












  • Related (from the other side): workplace.stackexchange.com/q/112477/325

    – Monica Cellio
    Apr 29 at 22:31

















60















I am starting a new position next month and I have been kindly invited to a team lunch. I would love to go, but due to the month of Ramadan I will be fasting during the day - no food or drinks allowed. I am not sure if it would be rude to decline their offer. I could ask them to delay it by 1 month but then that is no longer a welcome lunch.










share|improve this question



















  • 43





    As a boss, I can tell you that if anything, I would be the one embarrassed about this. I should have been more aware of the situation, and I would be embarrassed for not thinking about this in the first place. Just kindly remind your boss that it is Ramadan, and I am sure that they will be accommodating.

    – bremen_matt
    Apr 29 at 13:42






  • 6





    Is the team lunch a welcome lunch for you or is it a regular activity that you're now invited to as a member of the team?

    – Alexandre Aubrey
    Apr 29 at 13:45






  • 19





    @bremen_matt: Why would you be embarrassed? Religion should be a choice, at least in theory. In many countries, it would be illegal to ask candidates about their religion or lack thereof.

    – Eric Duminil
    Apr 29 at 14:47






  • 21





    @AlexandreAubrey The lunch was specifically arranged for me. They were happy to delay it by a month.

    – uex
    Apr 29 at 14:49












  • Related (from the other side): workplace.stackexchange.com/q/112477/325

    – Monica Cellio
    Apr 29 at 22:31













60












60








60








I am starting a new position next month and I have been kindly invited to a team lunch. I would love to go, but due to the month of Ramadan I will be fasting during the day - no food or drinks allowed. I am not sure if it would be rude to decline their offer. I could ask them to delay it by 1 month but then that is no longer a welcome lunch.










share|improve this question
















I am starting a new position next month and I have been kindly invited to a team lunch. I would love to go, but due to the month of Ramadan I will be fasting during the day - no food or drinks allowed. I am not sure if it would be rude to decline their offer. I could ask them to delay it by 1 month but then that is no longer a welcome lunch.







new-job socializing religion






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited Apr 29 at 20:34









200_success

1,7081123




1,7081123










asked Apr 29 at 9:27









uexuex

34638




34638







  • 43





    As a boss, I can tell you that if anything, I would be the one embarrassed about this. I should have been more aware of the situation, and I would be embarrassed for not thinking about this in the first place. Just kindly remind your boss that it is Ramadan, and I am sure that they will be accommodating.

    – bremen_matt
    Apr 29 at 13:42






  • 6





    Is the team lunch a welcome lunch for you or is it a regular activity that you're now invited to as a member of the team?

    – Alexandre Aubrey
    Apr 29 at 13:45






  • 19





    @bremen_matt: Why would you be embarrassed? Religion should be a choice, at least in theory. In many countries, it would be illegal to ask candidates about their religion or lack thereof.

    – Eric Duminil
    Apr 29 at 14:47






  • 21





    @AlexandreAubrey The lunch was specifically arranged for me. They were happy to delay it by a month.

    – uex
    Apr 29 at 14:49












  • Related (from the other side): workplace.stackexchange.com/q/112477/325

    – Monica Cellio
    Apr 29 at 22:31












  • 43





    As a boss, I can tell you that if anything, I would be the one embarrassed about this. I should have been more aware of the situation, and I would be embarrassed for not thinking about this in the first place. Just kindly remind your boss that it is Ramadan, and I am sure that they will be accommodating.

    – bremen_matt
    Apr 29 at 13:42






  • 6





    Is the team lunch a welcome lunch for you or is it a regular activity that you're now invited to as a member of the team?

    – Alexandre Aubrey
    Apr 29 at 13:45






  • 19





    @bremen_matt: Why would you be embarrassed? Religion should be a choice, at least in theory. In many countries, it would be illegal to ask candidates about their religion or lack thereof.

    – Eric Duminil
    Apr 29 at 14:47






  • 21





    @AlexandreAubrey The lunch was specifically arranged for me. They were happy to delay it by a month.

    – uex
    Apr 29 at 14:49












  • Related (from the other side): workplace.stackexchange.com/q/112477/325

    – Monica Cellio
    Apr 29 at 22:31







43




43





As a boss, I can tell you that if anything, I would be the one embarrassed about this. I should have been more aware of the situation, and I would be embarrassed for not thinking about this in the first place. Just kindly remind your boss that it is Ramadan, and I am sure that they will be accommodating.

– bremen_matt
Apr 29 at 13:42





As a boss, I can tell you that if anything, I would be the one embarrassed about this. I should have been more aware of the situation, and I would be embarrassed for not thinking about this in the first place. Just kindly remind your boss that it is Ramadan, and I am sure that they will be accommodating.

– bremen_matt
Apr 29 at 13:42




6




6





Is the team lunch a welcome lunch for you or is it a regular activity that you're now invited to as a member of the team?

– Alexandre Aubrey
Apr 29 at 13:45





Is the team lunch a welcome lunch for you or is it a regular activity that you're now invited to as a member of the team?

– Alexandre Aubrey
Apr 29 at 13:45




19




19





@bremen_matt: Why would you be embarrassed? Religion should be a choice, at least in theory. In many countries, it would be illegal to ask candidates about their religion or lack thereof.

– Eric Duminil
Apr 29 at 14:47





@bremen_matt: Why would you be embarrassed? Religion should be a choice, at least in theory. In many countries, it would be illegal to ask candidates about their religion or lack thereof.

– Eric Duminil
Apr 29 at 14:47




21




21





@AlexandreAubrey The lunch was specifically arranged for me. They were happy to delay it by a month.

– uex
Apr 29 at 14:49






@AlexandreAubrey The lunch was specifically arranged for me. They were happy to delay it by a month.

– uex
Apr 29 at 14:49














Related (from the other side): workplace.stackexchange.com/q/112477/325

– Monica Cellio
Apr 29 at 22:31





Related (from the other side): workplace.stackexchange.com/q/112477/325

– Monica Cellio
Apr 29 at 22:31










4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes


















110














Observing your religion shouldn't be viewed as being rude.



Simply respond and explain the situation to them while thanking them for their offer.



You can certainly suggest delaying for a month, and they should be happy enough to do this (other plans permitting).



They may also offer to go for an evening event instead of a daytime one. They might even go further in going ahead with the lunch event, but choosing not to eat or drink out of respect for you (this is something I'd happily partake in).






share|improve this answer

























  • Thank you for your comment, I think I will be delaying it rather than evening time as the fasting ends at 9pm.

    – uex
    Apr 29 at 9:42











  • I like this. Also you can ask for alternatives from lunch. Depending on age and what sort of job, maybe a fun hour doing something nearby like arcade or going to the park.

    – Dan
    Apr 29 at 13:23






  • 2





    @UmutEsen You might also consider a breakfast thing, especially if you have leftovers from the morning meal. A friend brought some leftover pastries one year, his approval rating went through the roof.

    – AmiralPatate
    Apr 29 at 13:27






  • 2





    @AmiralPatate For most locations in the northern hemisphere, this would require that all the coworkers arrive quite early in the day (eating before 6am in my location right now)...

    – user3067860
    Apr 29 at 16:28






  • 2





    Delaying it doesn't seem worthwhile. The point of these things is to get to know all your new coworkers. A month later you should know most of them, and now it's just a random party.

    – Barmar
    Apr 29 at 16:54


















33














As Snow suggests, observing your religion in this way isn't rude - and asking for a delay isn't a big deal but if it's not feasible that doesn't mean you have to cancel or postpone the lunch.



The point of such a "welcome lunch" isn't really about you eating or drinking things - it's about getting to know your new colleagues in an environment that is less formal than the office or a meeting. You could quite easily fulfill the purpose of doing this by attending and not eating or drinking.






share|improve this answer




















  • 17





    Well I always find it a bit awkward when 1 of the guests doesn't eat at the restaurant, both for that guest and the others who are actually eating.

    – Laurent S.
    Apr 29 at 9:57






  • 8





    +1 for attending and not eating or drinking. People have different beliefs, this way you can still meet the team but you're not forcing people who don't hold the same beliefs as you to change plans while still observing your own religion.

    – Old Nick
    Apr 29 at 12:26






  • 21





    Attending a restaurant when you are hungry and thirsty is not my idea of fun. The OP may have different views of course. (Remember, strict observance of Ramadan requires nil-by-mouth after sunrise.)

    – Martin Bonner
    Apr 29 at 12:49






  • 3





    @LaurentS. well, you shouldn't; I don't know how else to put it. Would you feel awkward going to a theme park and not going on a ride; or going to a shop and not buying anything; or going to a petting zoo and not touching an animal? Life is too short to feel awkward because you're doing something which you THINK is a little different, but is actually perfectly normal.

    – UKMonkey
    Apr 29 at 12:54






  • 2





    @DarrelHoffman No. No water.

    – Dawood ibn Kareem
    Apr 29 at 19:50


















3














The purpose of the welcome lunch is not really the food, it is to welcome you to the company.



Consider accepting the invitation but explaining that you will be in the middle of a fast and will not be eating.



Perhaps in light of that, the welcome lunch will be changed into some other kind of welcome event that doesn't involve food.






share|improve this answer






























    2














    I suggest that it's not necessary to explain why you can't make it to lunch. You can decline and suggest an alternate date.



    For example, you might say "I'm grateful for the warm welcome you're all giving me here at CompanyName. Your offer for the welcome lunch is very kind, but I'm afraid I won't be able to accept until after [specific date]."



    There are some things that don't need to be discussed in the workplace, such as medical issues, home life, religion and so on.



    For example, you might not be able to attend a lunch because:



    • You're fasting for religious reasons

    • You're preparing for a medical procedure that requires a specific diet

    • You want to remain available so that you're on call to tend to an ailing relative

    • You have a special diet because you're trying to make some weight loss goal

    • etc etc etc

    The key is that you don't need to explain why you're declining the invitation. Explain that you won't be able to go, thank them for the offer, and also give a timeframe when you would be able to in the future. If they can't reschedule, that's fine.



    None of this is to say that one should hide their religion. It's simply that it's not necessary to explain your reasons when declining an invitation if you don't want to, and even moreso when the reasons are related to things that are typically left private at work.






    share|improve this answer


















    • 2





      Although I think it would be better to give the reason for declining the invitation (or asking that it be postponed), I agree that there's no obligation to do so.

      – Andreas Blass
      Apr 29 at 20:57











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    4 Answers
    4






    active

    oldest

    votes








    4 Answers
    4






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes









    110














    Observing your religion shouldn't be viewed as being rude.



    Simply respond and explain the situation to them while thanking them for their offer.



    You can certainly suggest delaying for a month, and they should be happy enough to do this (other plans permitting).



    They may also offer to go for an evening event instead of a daytime one. They might even go further in going ahead with the lunch event, but choosing not to eat or drink out of respect for you (this is something I'd happily partake in).






    share|improve this answer

























    • Thank you for your comment, I think I will be delaying it rather than evening time as the fasting ends at 9pm.

      – uex
      Apr 29 at 9:42











    • I like this. Also you can ask for alternatives from lunch. Depending on age and what sort of job, maybe a fun hour doing something nearby like arcade or going to the park.

      – Dan
      Apr 29 at 13:23






    • 2





      @UmutEsen You might also consider a breakfast thing, especially if you have leftovers from the morning meal. A friend brought some leftover pastries one year, his approval rating went through the roof.

      – AmiralPatate
      Apr 29 at 13:27






    • 2





      @AmiralPatate For most locations in the northern hemisphere, this would require that all the coworkers arrive quite early in the day (eating before 6am in my location right now)...

      – user3067860
      Apr 29 at 16:28






    • 2





      Delaying it doesn't seem worthwhile. The point of these things is to get to know all your new coworkers. A month later you should know most of them, and now it's just a random party.

      – Barmar
      Apr 29 at 16:54















    110














    Observing your religion shouldn't be viewed as being rude.



    Simply respond and explain the situation to them while thanking them for their offer.



    You can certainly suggest delaying for a month, and they should be happy enough to do this (other plans permitting).



    They may also offer to go for an evening event instead of a daytime one. They might even go further in going ahead with the lunch event, but choosing not to eat or drink out of respect for you (this is something I'd happily partake in).






    share|improve this answer

























    • Thank you for your comment, I think I will be delaying it rather than evening time as the fasting ends at 9pm.

      – uex
      Apr 29 at 9:42











    • I like this. Also you can ask for alternatives from lunch. Depending on age and what sort of job, maybe a fun hour doing something nearby like arcade or going to the park.

      – Dan
      Apr 29 at 13:23






    • 2





      @UmutEsen You might also consider a breakfast thing, especially if you have leftovers from the morning meal. A friend brought some leftover pastries one year, his approval rating went through the roof.

      – AmiralPatate
      Apr 29 at 13:27






    • 2





      @AmiralPatate For most locations in the northern hemisphere, this would require that all the coworkers arrive quite early in the day (eating before 6am in my location right now)...

      – user3067860
      Apr 29 at 16:28






    • 2





      Delaying it doesn't seem worthwhile. The point of these things is to get to know all your new coworkers. A month later you should know most of them, and now it's just a random party.

      – Barmar
      Apr 29 at 16:54













    110












    110








    110







    Observing your religion shouldn't be viewed as being rude.



    Simply respond and explain the situation to them while thanking them for their offer.



    You can certainly suggest delaying for a month, and they should be happy enough to do this (other plans permitting).



    They may also offer to go for an evening event instead of a daytime one. They might even go further in going ahead with the lunch event, but choosing not to eat or drink out of respect for you (this is something I'd happily partake in).






    share|improve this answer















    Observing your religion shouldn't be viewed as being rude.



    Simply respond and explain the situation to them while thanking them for their offer.



    You can certainly suggest delaying for a month, and they should be happy enough to do this (other plans permitting).



    They may also offer to go for an evening event instead of a daytime one. They might even go further in going ahead with the lunch event, but choosing not to eat or drink out of respect for you (this is something I'd happily partake in).







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited Apr 29 at 13:09

























    answered Apr 29 at 9:34









    SnowSnow

    65.9k55218261




    65.9k55218261












    • Thank you for your comment, I think I will be delaying it rather than evening time as the fasting ends at 9pm.

      – uex
      Apr 29 at 9:42











    • I like this. Also you can ask for alternatives from lunch. Depending on age and what sort of job, maybe a fun hour doing something nearby like arcade or going to the park.

      – Dan
      Apr 29 at 13:23






    • 2





      @UmutEsen You might also consider a breakfast thing, especially if you have leftovers from the morning meal. A friend brought some leftover pastries one year, his approval rating went through the roof.

      – AmiralPatate
      Apr 29 at 13:27






    • 2





      @AmiralPatate For most locations in the northern hemisphere, this would require that all the coworkers arrive quite early in the day (eating before 6am in my location right now)...

      – user3067860
      Apr 29 at 16:28






    • 2





      Delaying it doesn't seem worthwhile. The point of these things is to get to know all your new coworkers. A month later you should know most of them, and now it's just a random party.

      – Barmar
      Apr 29 at 16:54

















    • Thank you for your comment, I think I will be delaying it rather than evening time as the fasting ends at 9pm.

      – uex
      Apr 29 at 9:42











    • I like this. Also you can ask for alternatives from lunch. Depending on age and what sort of job, maybe a fun hour doing something nearby like arcade or going to the park.

      – Dan
      Apr 29 at 13:23






    • 2





      @UmutEsen You might also consider a breakfast thing, especially if you have leftovers from the morning meal. A friend brought some leftover pastries one year, his approval rating went through the roof.

      – AmiralPatate
      Apr 29 at 13:27






    • 2





      @AmiralPatate For most locations in the northern hemisphere, this would require that all the coworkers arrive quite early in the day (eating before 6am in my location right now)...

      – user3067860
      Apr 29 at 16:28






    • 2





      Delaying it doesn't seem worthwhile. The point of these things is to get to know all your new coworkers. A month later you should know most of them, and now it's just a random party.

      – Barmar
      Apr 29 at 16:54
















    Thank you for your comment, I think I will be delaying it rather than evening time as the fasting ends at 9pm.

    – uex
    Apr 29 at 9:42





    Thank you for your comment, I think I will be delaying it rather than evening time as the fasting ends at 9pm.

    – uex
    Apr 29 at 9:42













    I like this. Also you can ask for alternatives from lunch. Depending on age and what sort of job, maybe a fun hour doing something nearby like arcade or going to the park.

    – Dan
    Apr 29 at 13:23





    I like this. Also you can ask for alternatives from lunch. Depending on age and what sort of job, maybe a fun hour doing something nearby like arcade or going to the park.

    – Dan
    Apr 29 at 13:23




    2




    2





    @UmutEsen You might also consider a breakfast thing, especially if you have leftovers from the morning meal. A friend brought some leftover pastries one year, his approval rating went through the roof.

    – AmiralPatate
    Apr 29 at 13:27





    @UmutEsen You might also consider a breakfast thing, especially if you have leftovers from the morning meal. A friend brought some leftover pastries one year, his approval rating went through the roof.

    – AmiralPatate
    Apr 29 at 13:27




    2




    2





    @AmiralPatate For most locations in the northern hemisphere, this would require that all the coworkers arrive quite early in the day (eating before 6am in my location right now)...

    – user3067860
    Apr 29 at 16:28





    @AmiralPatate For most locations in the northern hemisphere, this would require that all the coworkers arrive quite early in the day (eating before 6am in my location right now)...

    – user3067860
    Apr 29 at 16:28




    2




    2





    Delaying it doesn't seem worthwhile. The point of these things is to get to know all your new coworkers. A month later you should know most of them, and now it's just a random party.

    – Barmar
    Apr 29 at 16:54





    Delaying it doesn't seem worthwhile. The point of these things is to get to know all your new coworkers. A month later you should know most of them, and now it's just a random party.

    – Barmar
    Apr 29 at 16:54













    33














    As Snow suggests, observing your religion in this way isn't rude - and asking for a delay isn't a big deal but if it's not feasible that doesn't mean you have to cancel or postpone the lunch.



    The point of such a "welcome lunch" isn't really about you eating or drinking things - it's about getting to know your new colleagues in an environment that is less formal than the office or a meeting. You could quite easily fulfill the purpose of doing this by attending and not eating or drinking.






    share|improve this answer




















    • 17





      Well I always find it a bit awkward when 1 of the guests doesn't eat at the restaurant, both for that guest and the others who are actually eating.

      – Laurent S.
      Apr 29 at 9:57






    • 8





      +1 for attending and not eating or drinking. People have different beliefs, this way you can still meet the team but you're not forcing people who don't hold the same beliefs as you to change plans while still observing your own religion.

      – Old Nick
      Apr 29 at 12:26






    • 21





      Attending a restaurant when you are hungry and thirsty is not my idea of fun. The OP may have different views of course. (Remember, strict observance of Ramadan requires nil-by-mouth after sunrise.)

      – Martin Bonner
      Apr 29 at 12:49






    • 3





      @LaurentS. well, you shouldn't; I don't know how else to put it. Would you feel awkward going to a theme park and not going on a ride; or going to a shop and not buying anything; or going to a petting zoo and not touching an animal? Life is too short to feel awkward because you're doing something which you THINK is a little different, but is actually perfectly normal.

      – UKMonkey
      Apr 29 at 12:54






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman No. No water.

      – Dawood ibn Kareem
      Apr 29 at 19:50















    33














    As Snow suggests, observing your religion in this way isn't rude - and asking for a delay isn't a big deal but if it's not feasible that doesn't mean you have to cancel or postpone the lunch.



    The point of such a "welcome lunch" isn't really about you eating or drinking things - it's about getting to know your new colleagues in an environment that is less formal than the office or a meeting. You could quite easily fulfill the purpose of doing this by attending and not eating or drinking.






    share|improve this answer




















    • 17





      Well I always find it a bit awkward when 1 of the guests doesn't eat at the restaurant, both for that guest and the others who are actually eating.

      – Laurent S.
      Apr 29 at 9:57






    • 8





      +1 for attending and not eating or drinking. People have different beliefs, this way you can still meet the team but you're not forcing people who don't hold the same beliefs as you to change plans while still observing your own religion.

      – Old Nick
      Apr 29 at 12:26






    • 21





      Attending a restaurant when you are hungry and thirsty is not my idea of fun. The OP may have different views of course. (Remember, strict observance of Ramadan requires nil-by-mouth after sunrise.)

      – Martin Bonner
      Apr 29 at 12:49






    • 3





      @LaurentS. well, you shouldn't; I don't know how else to put it. Would you feel awkward going to a theme park and not going on a ride; or going to a shop and not buying anything; or going to a petting zoo and not touching an animal? Life is too short to feel awkward because you're doing something which you THINK is a little different, but is actually perfectly normal.

      – UKMonkey
      Apr 29 at 12:54






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman No. No water.

      – Dawood ibn Kareem
      Apr 29 at 19:50













    33












    33








    33







    As Snow suggests, observing your religion in this way isn't rude - and asking for a delay isn't a big deal but if it's not feasible that doesn't mean you have to cancel or postpone the lunch.



    The point of such a "welcome lunch" isn't really about you eating or drinking things - it's about getting to know your new colleagues in an environment that is less formal than the office or a meeting. You could quite easily fulfill the purpose of doing this by attending and not eating or drinking.






    share|improve this answer















    As Snow suggests, observing your religion in this way isn't rude - and asking for a delay isn't a big deal but if it's not feasible that doesn't mean you have to cancel or postpone the lunch.



    The point of such a "welcome lunch" isn't really about you eating or drinking things - it's about getting to know your new colleagues in an environment that is less formal than the office or a meeting. You could quite easily fulfill the purpose of doing this by attending and not eating or drinking.







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited Apr 29 at 16:48









    yoozer8

    4,18143056




    4,18143056










    answered Apr 29 at 9:43









    motosubatsumotosubatsu

    55.1k29146219




    55.1k29146219







    • 17





      Well I always find it a bit awkward when 1 of the guests doesn't eat at the restaurant, both for that guest and the others who are actually eating.

      – Laurent S.
      Apr 29 at 9:57






    • 8





      +1 for attending and not eating or drinking. People have different beliefs, this way you can still meet the team but you're not forcing people who don't hold the same beliefs as you to change plans while still observing your own religion.

      – Old Nick
      Apr 29 at 12:26






    • 21





      Attending a restaurant when you are hungry and thirsty is not my idea of fun. The OP may have different views of course. (Remember, strict observance of Ramadan requires nil-by-mouth after sunrise.)

      – Martin Bonner
      Apr 29 at 12:49






    • 3





      @LaurentS. well, you shouldn't; I don't know how else to put it. Would you feel awkward going to a theme park and not going on a ride; or going to a shop and not buying anything; or going to a petting zoo and not touching an animal? Life is too short to feel awkward because you're doing something which you THINK is a little different, but is actually perfectly normal.

      – UKMonkey
      Apr 29 at 12:54






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman No. No water.

      – Dawood ibn Kareem
      Apr 29 at 19:50












    • 17





      Well I always find it a bit awkward when 1 of the guests doesn't eat at the restaurant, both for that guest and the others who are actually eating.

      – Laurent S.
      Apr 29 at 9:57






    • 8





      +1 for attending and not eating or drinking. People have different beliefs, this way you can still meet the team but you're not forcing people who don't hold the same beliefs as you to change plans while still observing your own religion.

      – Old Nick
      Apr 29 at 12:26






    • 21





      Attending a restaurant when you are hungry and thirsty is not my idea of fun. The OP may have different views of course. (Remember, strict observance of Ramadan requires nil-by-mouth after sunrise.)

      – Martin Bonner
      Apr 29 at 12:49






    • 3





      @LaurentS. well, you shouldn't; I don't know how else to put it. Would you feel awkward going to a theme park and not going on a ride; or going to a shop and not buying anything; or going to a petting zoo and not touching an animal? Life is too short to feel awkward because you're doing something which you THINK is a little different, but is actually perfectly normal.

      – UKMonkey
      Apr 29 at 12:54






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman No. No water.

      – Dawood ibn Kareem
      Apr 29 at 19:50







    17




    17





    Well I always find it a bit awkward when 1 of the guests doesn't eat at the restaurant, both for that guest and the others who are actually eating.

    – Laurent S.
    Apr 29 at 9:57





    Well I always find it a bit awkward when 1 of the guests doesn't eat at the restaurant, both for that guest and the others who are actually eating.

    – Laurent S.
    Apr 29 at 9:57




    8




    8





    +1 for attending and not eating or drinking. People have different beliefs, this way you can still meet the team but you're not forcing people who don't hold the same beliefs as you to change plans while still observing your own religion.

    – Old Nick
    Apr 29 at 12:26





    +1 for attending and not eating or drinking. People have different beliefs, this way you can still meet the team but you're not forcing people who don't hold the same beliefs as you to change plans while still observing your own religion.

    – Old Nick
    Apr 29 at 12:26




    21




    21





    Attending a restaurant when you are hungry and thirsty is not my idea of fun. The OP may have different views of course. (Remember, strict observance of Ramadan requires nil-by-mouth after sunrise.)

    – Martin Bonner
    Apr 29 at 12:49





    Attending a restaurant when you are hungry and thirsty is not my idea of fun. The OP may have different views of course. (Remember, strict observance of Ramadan requires nil-by-mouth after sunrise.)

    – Martin Bonner
    Apr 29 at 12:49




    3




    3





    @LaurentS. well, you shouldn't; I don't know how else to put it. Would you feel awkward going to a theme park and not going on a ride; or going to a shop and not buying anything; or going to a petting zoo and not touching an animal? Life is too short to feel awkward because you're doing something which you THINK is a little different, but is actually perfectly normal.

    – UKMonkey
    Apr 29 at 12:54





    @LaurentS. well, you shouldn't; I don't know how else to put it. Would you feel awkward going to a theme park and not going on a ride; or going to a shop and not buying anything; or going to a petting zoo and not touching an animal? Life is too short to feel awkward because you're doing something which you THINK is a little different, but is actually perfectly normal.

    – UKMonkey
    Apr 29 at 12:54




    2




    2





    @DarrelHoffman No. No water.

    – Dawood ibn Kareem
    Apr 29 at 19:50





    @DarrelHoffman No. No water.

    – Dawood ibn Kareem
    Apr 29 at 19:50











    3














    The purpose of the welcome lunch is not really the food, it is to welcome you to the company.



    Consider accepting the invitation but explaining that you will be in the middle of a fast and will not be eating.



    Perhaps in light of that, the welcome lunch will be changed into some other kind of welcome event that doesn't involve food.






    share|improve this answer



























      3














      The purpose of the welcome lunch is not really the food, it is to welcome you to the company.



      Consider accepting the invitation but explaining that you will be in the middle of a fast and will not be eating.



      Perhaps in light of that, the welcome lunch will be changed into some other kind of welcome event that doesn't involve food.






      share|improve this answer

























        3












        3








        3







        The purpose of the welcome lunch is not really the food, it is to welcome you to the company.



        Consider accepting the invitation but explaining that you will be in the middle of a fast and will not be eating.



        Perhaps in light of that, the welcome lunch will be changed into some other kind of welcome event that doesn't involve food.






        share|improve this answer













        The purpose of the welcome lunch is not really the food, it is to welcome you to the company.



        Consider accepting the invitation but explaining that you will be in the middle of a fast and will not be eating.



        Perhaps in light of that, the welcome lunch will be changed into some other kind of welcome event that doesn't involve food.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Apr 29 at 21:35









        wberrywberry

        586513




        586513





















            2














            I suggest that it's not necessary to explain why you can't make it to lunch. You can decline and suggest an alternate date.



            For example, you might say "I'm grateful for the warm welcome you're all giving me here at CompanyName. Your offer for the welcome lunch is very kind, but I'm afraid I won't be able to accept until after [specific date]."



            There are some things that don't need to be discussed in the workplace, such as medical issues, home life, religion and so on.



            For example, you might not be able to attend a lunch because:



            • You're fasting for religious reasons

            • You're preparing for a medical procedure that requires a specific diet

            • You want to remain available so that you're on call to tend to an ailing relative

            • You have a special diet because you're trying to make some weight loss goal

            • etc etc etc

            The key is that you don't need to explain why you're declining the invitation. Explain that you won't be able to go, thank them for the offer, and also give a timeframe when you would be able to in the future. If they can't reschedule, that's fine.



            None of this is to say that one should hide their religion. It's simply that it's not necessary to explain your reasons when declining an invitation if you don't want to, and even moreso when the reasons are related to things that are typically left private at work.






            share|improve this answer


















            • 2





              Although I think it would be better to give the reason for declining the invitation (or asking that it be postponed), I agree that there's no obligation to do so.

              – Andreas Blass
              Apr 29 at 20:57















            2














            I suggest that it's not necessary to explain why you can't make it to lunch. You can decline and suggest an alternate date.



            For example, you might say "I'm grateful for the warm welcome you're all giving me here at CompanyName. Your offer for the welcome lunch is very kind, but I'm afraid I won't be able to accept until after [specific date]."



            There are some things that don't need to be discussed in the workplace, such as medical issues, home life, religion and so on.



            For example, you might not be able to attend a lunch because:



            • You're fasting for religious reasons

            • You're preparing for a medical procedure that requires a specific diet

            • You want to remain available so that you're on call to tend to an ailing relative

            • You have a special diet because you're trying to make some weight loss goal

            • etc etc etc

            The key is that you don't need to explain why you're declining the invitation. Explain that you won't be able to go, thank them for the offer, and also give a timeframe when you would be able to in the future. If they can't reschedule, that's fine.



            None of this is to say that one should hide their religion. It's simply that it's not necessary to explain your reasons when declining an invitation if you don't want to, and even moreso when the reasons are related to things that are typically left private at work.






            share|improve this answer


















            • 2





              Although I think it would be better to give the reason for declining the invitation (or asking that it be postponed), I agree that there's no obligation to do so.

              – Andreas Blass
              Apr 29 at 20:57













            2












            2








            2







            I suggest that it's not necessary to explain why you can't make it to lunch. You can decline and suggest an alternate date.



            For example, you might say "I'm grateful for the warm welcome you're all giving me here at CompanyName. Your offer for the welcome lunch is very kind, but I'm afraid I won't be able to accept until after [specific date]."



            There are some things that don't need to be discussed in the workplace, such as medical issues, home life, religion and so on.



            For example, you might not be able to attend a lunch because:



            • You're fasting for religious reasons

            • You're preparing for a medical procedure that requires a specific diet

            • You want to remain available so that you're on call to tend to an ailing relative

            • You have a special diet because you're trying to make some weight loss goal

            • etc etc etc

            The key is that you don't need to explain why you're declining the invitation. Explain that you won't be able to go, thank them for the offer, and also give a timeframe when you would be able to in the future. If they can't reschedule, that's fine.



            None of this is to say that one should hide their religion. It's simply that it's not necessary to explain your reasons when declining an invitation if you don't want to, and even moreso when the reasons are related to things that are typically left private at work.






            share|improve this answer













            I suggest that it's not necessary to explain why you can't make it to lunch. You can decline and suggest an alternate date.



            For example, you might say "I'm grateful for the warm welcome you're all giving me here at CompanyName. Your offer for the welcome lunch is very kind, but I'm afraid I won't be able to accept until after [specific date]."



            There are some things that don't need to be discussed in the workplace, such as medical issues, home life, religion and so on.



            For example, you might not be able to attend a lunch because:



            • You're fasting for religious reasons

            • You're preparing for a medical procedure that requires a specific diet

            • You want to remain available so that you're on call to tend to an ailing relative

            • You have a special diet because you're trying to make some weight loss goal

            • etc etc etc

            The key is that you don't need to explain why you're declining the invitation. Explain that you won't be able to go, thank them for the offer, and also give a timeframe when you would be able to in the future. If they can't reschedule, that's fine.



            None of this is to say that one should hide their religion. It's simply that it's not necessary to explain your reasons when declining an invitation if you don't want to, and even moreso when the reasons are related to things that are typically left private at work.







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered Apr 29 at 20:20









            Andy LesterAndy Lester

            1,345713




            1,345713







            • 2





              Although I think it would be better to give the reason for declining the invitation (or asking that it be postponed), I agree that there's no obligation to do so.

              – Andreas Blass
              Apr 29 at 20:57












            • 2





              Although I think it would be better to give the reason for declining the invitation (or asking that it be postponed), I agree that there's no obligation to do so.

              – Andreas Blass
              Apr 29 at 20:57







            2




            2





            Although I think it would be better to give the reason for declining the invitation (or asking that it be postponed), I agree that there's no obligation to do so.

            – Andreas Blass
            Apr 29 at 20:57





            Although I think it would be better to give the reason for declining the invitation (or asking that it be postponed), I agree that there's no obligation to do so.

            – Andreas Blass
            Apr 29 at 20:57

















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