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How can I tell someone that I want to be his or her friend?
Meaning of “I didn't hear from him until now”What do you call it when someone searches through your stuff?How to understand this sentence “Identify issues that you needs to escalate to appropriate people in AAA”?better word for “feed him”How do I invite a friend “on my expense”?When you want to prevent someone from being foul-mouthedhow to give regards to someoneThe act of calling student names to make list of absent studentsHow to understand “As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school.” in this context?“Get to know” usage
.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__bot-mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;
Let's say I'm new to a school or a place and I'd like to know the name of my colleague and I want him or her to be my friend.
From a movie, I heard a sentence like that:
Can we know each other?
From google, I think I can say:
Can we get to know each other?
According to AmE, can I use those sentences so that people know what I mean? Is there a difference between them? Is there a better or more correct sentence?
sentence-meaning phrase-request
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
add a comment |
Let's say I'm new to a school or a place and I'd like to know the name of my colleague and I want him or her to be my friend.
From a movie, I heard a sentence like that:
Can we know each other?
From google, I think I can say:
Can we get to know each other?
According to AmE, can I use those sentences so that people know what I mean? Is there a difference between them? Is there a better or more correct sentence?
sentence-meaning phrase-request
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
3
I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
– cobaltduck
Apr 4 at 20:23
add a comment |
Let's say I'm new to a school or a place and I'd like to know the name of my colleague and I want him or her to be my friend.
From a movie, I heard a sentence like that:
Can we know each other?
From google, I think I can say:
Can we get to know each other?
According to AmE, can I use those sentences so that people know what I mean? Is there a difference between them? Is there a better or more correct sentence?
sentence-meaning phrase-request
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
Let's say I'm new to a school or a place and I'd like to know the name of my colleague and I want him or her to be my friend.
From a movie, I heard a sentence like that:
Can we know each other?
From google, I think I can say:
Can we get to know each other?
According to AmE, can I use those sentences so that people know what I mean? Is there a difference between them? Is there a better or more correct sentence?
sentence-meaning phrase-request
sentence-meaning phrase-request
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
edited Apr 4 at 17:01
Roijan Eskor
1603
1603
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
asked Apr 4 at 12:59
user2824371user2824371
97521327
97521327
3
I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
– cobaltduck
Apr 4 at 20:23
add a comment |
3
I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
– cobaltduck
Apr 4 at 20:23
3
3
I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
– cobaltduck
Apr 4 at 20:23
I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
– cobaltduck
Apr 4 at 20:23
add a comment |
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.
Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)
While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
7
There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
– James K
Apr 4 at 13:27
8
@user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
– Aethenosity
Apr 4 at 14:55
6
Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
– James K
Apr 4 at 14:56
6
@Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
– JMac
Apr 4 at 15:47
2
@Aethenosity where I live in the US "Can we get to know each other?" is more of a "Let's go for a coffee" than "Wanna come up for coffee?" Definitely not "Let's be friends" but I feel it's more flirty than sexual.
– Jake
Apr 4 at 21:45
|
show 5 more comments
“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.
“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
– user2824371
Apr 4 at 13:54
add a comment |
As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.
That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).
"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.
"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.
But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
add a comment |
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3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.
Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)
While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
7
There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
– James K
Apr 4 at 13:27
8
@user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
– Aethenosity
Apr 4 at 14:55
6
Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
– James K
Apr 4 at 14:56
6
@Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
– JMac
Apr 4 at 15:47
2
@Aethenosity where I live in the US "Can we get to know each other?" is more of a "Let's go for a coffee" than "Wanna come up for coffee?" Definitely not "Let's be friends" but I feel it's more flirty than sexual.
– Jake
Apr 4 at 21:45
|
show 5 more comments
Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.
Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)
While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
7
There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
– James K
Apr 4 at 13:27
8
@user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
– Aethenosity
Apr 4 at 14:55
6
Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
– James K
Apr 4 at 14:56
6
@Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
– JMac
Apr 4 at 15:47
2
@Aethenosity where I live in the US "Can we get to know each other?" is more of a "Let's go for a coffee" than "Wanna come up for coffee?" Definitely not "Let's be friends" but I feel it's more flirty than sexual.
– Jake
Apr 4 at 21:45
|
show 5 more comments
Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.
Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)
While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.
Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)
While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
answered Apr 4 at 13:09
James KJames K
40.5k143101
40.5k143101
7
There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
– James K
Apr 4 at 13:27
8
@user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
– Aethenosity
Apr 4 at 14:55
6
Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
– James K
Apr 4 at 14:56
6
@Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
– JMac
Apr 4 at 15:47
2
@Aethenosity where I live in the US "Can we get to know each other?" is more of a "Let's go for a coffee" than "Wanna come up for coffee?" Definitely not "Let's be friends" but I feel it's more flirty than sexual.
– Jake
Apr 4 at 21:45
|
show 5 more comments
7
There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
– James K
Apr 4 at 13:27
8
@user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
– Aethenosity
Apr 4 at 14:55
6
Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
– James K
Apr 4 at 14:56
6
@Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
– JMac
Apr 4 at 15:47
2
@Aethenosity where I live in the US "Can we get to know each other?" is more of a "Let's go for a coffee" than "Wanna come up for coffee?" Definitely not "Let's be friends" but I feel it's more flirty than sexual.
– Jake
Apr 4 at 21:45
7
7
There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
– James K
Apr 4 at 13:27
There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
– James K
Apr 4 at 13:27
8
8
@user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
– Aethenosity
Apr 4 at 14:55
@user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
– Aethenosity
Apr 4 at 14:55
6
6
Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
– James K
Apr 4 at 14:56
Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
– James K
Apr 4 at 14:56
6
6
@Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
– JMac
Apr 4 at 15:47
@Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
– JMac
Apr 4 at 15:47
2
2
@Aethenosity where I live in the US "Can we get to know each other?" is more of a "Let's go for a coffee" than "Wanna come up for coffee?" Definitely not "Let's be friends" but I feel it's more flirty than sexual.
– Jake
Apr 4 at 21:45
@Aethenosity where I live in the US "Can we get to know each other?" is more of a "Let's go for a coffee" than "Wanna come up for coffee?" Definitely not "Let's be friends" but I feel it's more flirty than sexual.
– Jake
Apr 4 at 21:45
|
show 5 more comments
“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.
“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
– user2824371
Apr 4 at 13:54
add a comment |
“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.
“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
– user2824371
Apr 4 at 13:54
add a comment |
“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.
“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.
“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
answered Apr 4 at 13:35
MixolydianMixolydian
5,088715
5,088715
Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
– user2824371
Apr 4 at 13:54
add a comment |
Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
– user2824371
Apr 4 at 13:54
Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
– user2824371
Apr 4 at 13:54
Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
– user2824371
Apr 4 at 13:54
add a comment |
As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.
That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).
"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.
"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.
But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
add a comment |
As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.
That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).
"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.
"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.
But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
add a comment |
As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.
That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).
"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.
"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.
But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.
That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).
"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.
"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.
But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
answered Apr 4 at 16:29
MichaelMichael
1946
1946
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I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
– cobaltduck
Apr 4 at 20:23