Could somebody please check my work? [closed]

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Could somebody please check my work? [closed]














1















I am very new to Italian and was just posting this here to have it proof-checked, thank you!




Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è mio piccolo fratello. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, due giorno da oggi. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma lui è un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha I capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.











share|improve this question















closed as off-topic by Denis Nardin May 17 at 10:43


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Questions asking if a given text is correct are considered off-topic on this site. If it is possible, please reformulate your question so that it asks about a specific doubt you have rather than asking to proofread a long text." – Denis Nardin
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.











  • 1





    Welcome to ItalianSE! Normally question about translation are in general off-topic. If you could provide us the original text to translate and what you wrote in your question is your best attempt then we can help you.

    – abarisone
    May 14 at 14:21












  • @abarisone he wrote that he wrote this sentence... I don’t think it’s off topic since he’s asking if his italian sentence is correct, and he’s not asking for a translation. This is his attempt to write something in Italian, not to translate something existing.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 14:44






  • 2





    Welcome to Italian.SE! As you can see in the page in the help centre describing what is on topic, proofreading questions ("are there any mistakes?") are off-topic here, unless the source of concern is clearly specified.

    – Charo
    May 14 at 16:56






  • 1





    Relevant Meta discussion: italian.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1386/…

    – Denis Nardin
    May 16 at 15:22
















1















I am very new to Italian and was just posting this here to have it proof-checked, thank you!




Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è mio piccolo fratello. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, due giorno da oggi. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma lui è un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha I capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.











share|improve this question















closed as off-topic by Denis Nardin May 17 at 10:43


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Questions asking if a given text is correct are considered off-topic on this site. If it is possible, please reformulate your question so that it asks about a specific doubt you have rather than asking to proofread a long text." – Denis Nardin
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.











  • 1





    Welcome to ItalianSE! Normally question about translation are in general off-topic. If you could provide us the original text to translate and what you wrote in your question is your best attempt then we can help you.

    – abarisone
    May 14 at 14:21












  • @abarisone he wrote that he wrote this sentence... I don’t think it’s off topic since he’s asking if his italian sentence is correct, and he’s not asking for a translation. This is his attempt to write something in Italian, not to translate something existing.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 14:44






  • 2





    Welcome to Italian.SE! As you can see in the page in the help centre describing what is on topic, proofreading questions ("are there any mistakes?") are off-topic here, unless the source of concern is clearly specified.

    – Charo
    May 14 at 16:56






  • 1





    Relevant Meta discussion: italian.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1386/…

    – Denis Nardin
    May 16 at 15:22














1












1








1








I am very new to Italian and was just posting this here to have it proof-checked, thank you!




Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è mio piccolo fratello. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, due giorno da oggi. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma lui è un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha I capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.











share|improve this question
















I am very new to Italian and was just posting this here to have it proof-checked, thank you!




Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è mio piccolo fratello. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, due giorno da oggi. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma lui è un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha I capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.








adjectives punctuation phrase-choice






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited May 14 at 16:58









Marybnq

39310




39310










asked May 14 at 14:15









Hamadan MahmoodHamadan Mahmood

112




112




closed as off-topic by Denis Nardin May 17 at 10:43


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Questions asking if a given text is correct are considered off-topic on this site. If it is possible, please reformulate your question so that it asks about a specific doubt you have rather than asking to proofread a long text." – Denis Nardin
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.







closed as off-topic by Denis Nardin May 17 at 10:43


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Questions asking if a given text is correct are considered off-topic on this site. If it is possible, please reformulate your question so that it asks about a specific doubt you have rather than asking to proofread a long text." – Denis Nardin
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.







  • 1





    Welcome to ItalianSE! Normally question about translation are in general off-topic. If you could provide us the original text to translate and what you wrote in your question is your best attempt then we can help you.

    – abarisone
    May 14 at 14:21












  • @abarisone he wrote that he wrote this sentence... I don’t think it’s off topic since he’s asking if his italian sentence is correct, and he’s not asking for a translation. This is his attempt to write something in Italian, not to translate something existing.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 14:44






  • 2





    Welcome to Italian.SE! As you can see in the page in the help centre describing what is on topic, proofreading questions ("are there any mistakes?") are off-topic here, unless the source of concern is clearly specified.

    – Charo
    May 14 at 16:56






  • 1





    Relevant Meta discussion: italian.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1386/…

    – Denis Nardin
    May 16 at 15:22













  • 1





    Welcome to ItalianSE! Normally question about translation are in general off-topic. If you could provide us the original text to translate and what you wrote in your question is your best attempt then we can help you.

    – abarisone
    May 14 at 14:21












  • @abarisone he wrote that he wrote this sentence... I don’t think it’s off topic since he’s asking if his italian sentence is correct, and he’s not asking for a translation. This is his attempt to write something in Italian, not to translate something existing.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 14:44






  • 2





    Welcome to Italian.SE! As you can see in the page in the help centre describing what is on topic, proofreading questions ("are there any mistakes?") are off-topic here, unless the source of concern is clearly specified.

    – Charo
    May 14 at 16:56






  • 1





    Relevant Meta discussion: italian.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1386/…

    – Denis Nardin
    May 16 at 15:22








1




1





Welcome to ItalianSE! Normally question about translation are in general off-topic. If you could provide us the original text to translate and what you wrote in your question is your best attempt then we can help you.

– abarisone
May 14 at 14:21






Welcome to ItalianSE! Normally question about translation are in general off-topic. If you could provide us the original text to translate and what you wrote in your question is your best attempt then we can help you.

– abarisone
May 14 at 14:21














@abarisone he wrote that he wrote this sentence... I don’t think it’s off topic since he’s asking if his italian sentence is correct, and he’s not asking for a translation. This is his attempt to write something in Italian, not to translate something existing.

– Marybnq
May 14 at 14:44





@abarisone he wrote that he wrote this sentence... I don’t think it’s off topic since he’s asking if his italian sentence is correct, and he’s not asking for a translation. This is his attempt to write something in Italian, not to translate something existing.

– Marybnq
May 14 at 14:44




2




2





Welcome to Italian.SE! As you can see in the page in the help centre describing what is on topic, proofreading questions ("are there any mistakes?") are off-topic here, unless the source of concern is clearly specified.

– Charo
May 14 at 16:56





Welcome to Italian.SE! As you can see in the page in the help centre describing what is on topic, proofreading questions ("are there any mistakes?") are off-topic here, unless the source of concern is clearly specified.

– Charo
May 14 at 16:56




1




1





Relevant Meta discussion: italian.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1386/…

– Denis Nardin
May 16 at 15:22






Relevant Meta discussion: italian.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1386/…

– Denis Nardin
May 16 at 15:22











1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes


















3














Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è il mio fratello minore. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, fra due giorni. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha i capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.



That’s how I’d correct your sentence at first. Anyway, even if it’s not a mistake, I’d suggest not to repeat the nominative pronoun “lui”, since in italian it’s already expressed in the verb. So you might rather to say:




Questo è Haid Mahmood, mio fratello minore. Ha undici anni. Il suo compleanno è il 16 maggio, fra due giorni. È pakistano ma abita a Perth, in Australia. Parla inglese e urdu. È molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Non è molto alto e ha i capelli ricci. È molto bravo in musica e suona la tromba.







share|improve this answer


















  • 4





    In my opinion, "mio fratello minore" could be replaced with "il mio fratellino", which is less formal; but it depends on the context where the sentence will be used.

    – Riccardo De Contardi
    May 14 at 16:00











  • @RiccardoDeContardi sure, that's a great option as well.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 16:04











  • Would removing the "lui" pronoun be applicable even through speech or is it only when the text is being read?

    – Hamadan Mahmood
    May 14 at 21:08






  • 1





    Most of the time the third person pronoun is omitted in italian, especially in spoken language. All those "lui" in the text, although not grammatically wrong, make it evident that it's not something written by a native speaker.

    – Old Man of Aran
    May 15 at 7:43











  • @HamadanMahmood you can do that either when you write, either when you speak.

    – Marybnq
    May 15 at 8:25

















1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes








1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes









3














Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è il mio fratello minore. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, fra due giorni. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha i capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.



That’s how I’d correct your sentence at first. Anyway, even if it’s not a mistake, I’d suggest not to repeat the nominative pronoun “lui”, since in italian it’s already expressed in the verb. So you might rather to say:




Questo è Haid Mahmood, mio fratello minore. Ha undici anni. Il suo compleanno è il 16 maggio, fra due giorni. È pakistano ma abita a Perth, in Australia. Parla inglese e urdu. È molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Non è molto alto e ha i capelli ricci. È molto bravo in musica e suona la tromba.







share|improve this answer


















  • 4





    In my opinion, "mio fratello minore" could be replaced with "il mio fratellino", which is less formal; but it depends on the context where the sentence will be used.

    – Riccardo De Contardi
    May 14 at 16:00











  • @RiccardoDeContardi sure, that's a great option as well.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 16:04











  • Would removing the "lui" pronoun be applicable even through speech or is it only when the text is being read?

    – Hamadan Mahmood
    May 14 at 21:08






  • 1





    Most of the time the third person pronoun is omitted in italian, especially in spoken language. All those "lui" in the text, although not grammatically wrong, make it evident that it's not something written by a native speaker.

    – Old Man of Aran
    May 15 at 7:43











  • @HamadanMahmood you can do that either when you write, either when you speak.

    – Marybnq
    May 15 at 8:25















3














Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è il mio fratello minore. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, fra due giorni. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha i capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.



That’s how I’d correct your sentence at first. Anyway, even if it’s not a mistake, I’d suggest not to repeat the nominative pronoun “lui”, since in italian it’s already expressed in the verb. So you might rather to say:




Questo è Haid Mahmood, mio fratello minore. Ha undici anni. Il suo compleanno è il 16 maggio, fra due giorni. È pakistano ma abita a Perth, in Australia. Parla inglese e urdu. È molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Non è molto alto e ha i capelli ricci. È molto bravo in musica e suona la tromba.







share|improve this answer


















  • 4





    In my opinion, "mio fratello minore" could be replaced with "il mio fratellino", which is less formal; but it depends on the context where the sentence will be used.

    – Riccardo De Contardi
    May 14 at 16:00











  • @RiccardoDeContardi sure, that's a great option as well.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 16:04











  • Would removing the "lui" pronoun be applicable even through speech or is it only when the text is being read?

    – Hamadan Mahmood
    May 14 at 21:08






  • 1





    Most of the time the third person pronoun is omitted in italian, especially in spoken language. All those "lui" in the text, although not grammatically wrong, make it evident that it's not something written by a native speaker.

    – Old Man of Aran
    May 15 at 7:43











  • @HamadanMahmood you can do that either when you write, either when you speak.

    – Marybnq
    May 15 at 8:25













3












3








3







Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è il mio fratello minore. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, fra due giorni. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha i capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.



That’s how I’d correct your sentence at first. Anyway, even if it’s not a mistake, I’d suggest not to repeat the nominative pronoun “lui”, since in italian it’s already expressed in the verb. So you might rather to say:




Questo è Haid Mahmood, mio fratello minore. Ha undici anni. Il suo compleanno è il 16 maggio, fra due giorni. È pakistano ma abita a Perth, in Australia. Parla inglese e urdu. È molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Non è molto alto e ha i capelli ricci. È molto bravo in musica e suona la tromba.







share|improve this answer













Questo è Haid Mahmood. Lui è il mio fratello minore. Lui ha undici anni ma il suo compleanno è il sedici Maggio, fra due giorni. Lui è pakistano ma abita a Perth in Australia. Lui parla inglese e urdu. Haid è molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Lui non è molto alto. Haid ha i capelli ricci. Haid è molto bravo in musica. Lui suona la tromba.



That’s how I’d correct your sentence at first. Anyway, even if it’s not a mistake, I’d suggest not to repeat the nominative pronoun “lui”, since in italian it’s already expressed in the verb. So you might rather to say:




Questo è Haid Mahmood, mio fratello minore. Ha undici anni. Il suo compleanno è il 16 maggio, fra due giorni. È pakistano ma abita a Perth, in Australia. Parla inglese e urdu. È molto fastidioso ma anche un po' amichevole. Non è molto alto e ha i capelli ricci. È molto bravo in musica e suona la tromba.








share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered May 14 at 14:25









MarybnqMarybnq

39310




39310







  • 4





    In my opinion, "mio fratello minore" could be replaced with "il mio fratellino", which is less formal; but it depends on the context where the sentence will be used.

    – Riccardo De Contardi
    May 14 at 16:00











  • @RiccardoDeContardi sure, that's a great option as well.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 16:04











  • Would removing the "lui" pronoun be applicable even through speech or is it only when the text is being read?

    – Hamadan Mahmood
    May 14 at 21:08






  • 1





    Most of the time the third person pronoun is omitted in italian, especially in spoken language. All those "lui" in the text, although not grammatically wrong, make it evident that it's not something written by a native speaker.

    – Old Man of Aran
    May 15 at 7:43











  • @HamadanMahmood you can do that either when you write, either when you speak.

    – Marybnq
    May 15 at 8:25












  • 4





    In my opinion, "mio fratello minore" could be replaced with "il mio fratellino", which is less formal; but it depends on the context where the sentence will be used.

    – Riccardo De Contardi
    May 14 at 16:00











  • @RiccardoDeContardi sure, that's a great option as well.

    – Marybnq
    May 14 at 16:04











  • Would removing the "lui" pronoun be applicable even through speech or is it only when the text is being read?

    – Hamadan Mahmood
    May 14 at 21:08






  • 1





    Most of the time the third person pronoun is omitted in italian, especially in spoken language. All those "lui" in the text, although not grammatically wrong, make it evident that it's not something written by a native speaker.

    – Old Man of Aran
    May 15 at 7:43











  • @HamadanMahmood you can do that either when you write, either when you speak.

    – Marybnq
    May 15 at 8:25







4




4





In my opinion, "mio fratello minore" could be replaced with "il mio fratellino", which is less formal; but it depends on the context where the sentence will be used.

– Riccardo De Contardi
May 14 at 16:00





In my opinion, "mio fratello minore" could be replaced with "il mio fratellino", which is less formal; but it depends on the context where the sentence will be used.

– Riccardo De Contardi
May 14 at 16:00













@RiccardoDeContardi sure, that's a great option as well.

– Marybnq
May 14 at 16:04





@RiccardoDeContardi sure, that's a great option as well.

– Marybnq
May 14 at 16:04













Would removing the "lui" pronoun be applicable even through speech or is it only when the text is being read?

– Hamadan Mahmood
May 14 at 21:08





Would removing the "lui" pronoun be applicable even through speech or is it only when the text is being read?

– Hamadan Mahmood
May 14 at 21:08




1




1





Most of the time the third person pronoun is omitted in italian, especially in spoken language. All those "lui" in the text, although not grammatically wrong, make it evident that it's not something written by a native speaker.

– Old Man of Aran
May 15 at 7:43





Most of the time the third person pronoun is omitted in italian, especially in spoken language. All those "lui" in the text, although not grammatically wrong, make it evident that it's not something written by a native speaker.

– Old Man of Aran
May 15 at 7:43













@HamadanMahmood you can do that either when you write, either when you speak.

– Marybnq
May 15 at 8:25





@HamadanMahmood you can do that either when you write, either when you speak.

– Marybnq
May 15 at 8:25



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