How to decline a wedding invitation from a friend I haven't seen in years?
Has there been any indication at all that further negotiation between the UK and EU is possible?
How do I turn off a repeating trade?
Why change the size when print a object
Cascading Repair Costs following Blown Head Gasket on a 2004 Subaru Outback
Long term BTC investing
Fedora boot screen shows both Fedora logo and Lenovo logo. Why and How?
How dangerous are set-size assumptions?
Is it illegal to withhold someone's passport and green card in California?
How to create a Tetrix/Sierpinski Tetrahedron fractal radiating from 0,0,0 ? Python or nodes
A STL-like vector implementation in C++
Is using weak login credentials always bad?
What is the better way to use Optional in conditions?
3D Crossword, Cryptic, Statue View & Maze
How are the Zhentarim and Black Fist related?
What is the legal status of travelling with methadone in your carry-on?
Apply brace expansion in "reverse order"
Is there a maximum distance from a planet that a moon can orbit?
Can ADFS connect to other SSO services?
How do I professionally let my manager know I'll quit over smoking in the office?
Wifi dongle speed is slower than advertised
Is my Rep in Stack-Exchange Form?
Can any NP-Complete Problem be solved using at most polynomial space (but while using exponential time?)
Why is the voltage measurement of this circuit different when the switch is on?
Suggested order for Amazon Prime Doctor Who series
How to decline a wedding invitation from a friend I haven't seen in years?
.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__bot-mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;
Three years back somebody of my group of friends got a girlfriend. Ever since he got together with her, me and the other friends of the same group did not hear from him again, despite our efforts to meet up again or just having a casual chat online. This feels a bit like he turned his back to us.
Yesterday my girlfriend and I got invited to the wedding of he and his now-fiance. We do not feel like going because of these last years, acting like nothing has changed.
There is a website where you can respond to the wedding. I do not want to be cruel in the response (wishing him all the best with his soon-to-be wife), but also not beat around the bush for the reason.
What would be the proper way to decline this invitation?
etiquette friend-groups invitations weddings belgium
We're looking for long answers that provide some explanation and context. Don't just give a one-line answer; explain why your answer is right, ideally with citations. Answers that don't include explanations may be removed.
add a comment |
Three years back somebody of my group of friends got a girlfriend. Ever since he got together with her, me and the other friends of the same group did not hear from him again, despite our efforts to meet up again or just having a casual chat online. This feels a bit like he turned his back to us.
Yesterday my girlfriend and I got invited to the wedding of he and his now-fiance. We do not feel like going because of these last years, acting like nothing has changed.
There is a website where you can respond to the wedding. I do not want to be cruel in the response (wishing him all the best with his soon-to-be wife), but also not beat around the bush for the reason.
What would be the proper way to decline this invitation?
etiquette friend-groups invitations weddings belgium
We're looking for long answers that provide some explanation and context. Don't just give a one-line answer; explain why your answer is right, ideally with citations. Answers that don't include explanations may be removed.
5
What do you hope to achieve by saying "I don't want to go to your wedding because you never hang out with us anymore."? Do you want to shame them into being your friend again? Do you just want to vent? Do you want to be friends with them again?
– Azor Ahai
Jun 6 at 21:35
1
Nobody of the group of friends is going to the wedding. I do think he will ask for a reason to me or another if not provided by us.
– jdf
Jun 7 at 8:08
add a comment |
Three years back somebody of my group of friends got a girlfriend. Ever since he got together with her, me and the other friends of the same group did not hear from him again, despite our efforts to meet up again or just having a casual chat online. This feels a bit like he turned his back to us.
Yesterday my girlfriend and I got invited to the wedding of he and his now-fiance. We do not feel like going because of these last years, acting like nothing has changed.
There is a website where you can respond to the wedding. I do not want to be cruel in the response (wishing him all the best with his soon-to-be wife), but also not beat around the bush for the reason.
What would be the proper way to decline this invitation?
etiquette friend-groups invitations weddings belgium
Three years back somebody of my group of friends got a girlfriend. Ever since he got together with her, me and the other friends of the same group did not hear from him again, despite our efforts to meet up again or just having a casual chat online. This feels a bit like he turned his back to us.
Yesterday my girlfriend and I got invited to the wedding of he and his now-fiance. We do not feel like going because of these last years, acting like nothing has changed.
There is a website where you can respond to the wedding. I do not want to be cruel in the response (wishing him all the best with his soon-to-be wife), but also not beat around the bush for the reason.
What would be the proper way to decline this invitation?
etiquette friend-groups invitations weddings belgium
etiquette friend-groups invitations weddings belgium
edited Jun 6 at 18:44
Tinkeringbell♦
23.7k23 gold badges102 silver badges141 bronze badges
23.7k23 gold badges102 silver badges141 bronze badges
asked Jun 6 at 7:42
jdfjdf
711 silver badge4 bronze badges
711 silver badge4 bronze badges
We're looking for long answers that provide some explanation and context. Don't just give a one-line answer; explain why your answer is right, ideally with citations. Answers that don't include explanations may be removed.
We're looking for long answers that provide some explanation and context. Don't just give a one-line answer; explain why your answer is right, ideally with citations. Answers that don't include explanations may be removed.
5
What do you hope to achieve by saying "I don't want to go to your wedding because you never hang out with us anymore."? Do you want to shame them into being your friend again? Do you just want to vent? Do you want to be friends with them again?
– Azor Ahai
Jun 6 at 21:35
1
Nobody of the group of friends is going to the wedding. I do think he will ask for a reason to me or another if not provided by us.
– jdf
Jun 7 at 8:08
add a comment |
5
What do you hope to achieve by saying "I don't want to go to your wedding because you never hang out with us anymore."? Do you want to shame them into being your friend again? Do you just want to vent? Do you want to be friends with them again?
– Azor Ahai
Jun 6 at 21:35
1
Nobody of the group of friends is going to the wedding. I do think he will ask for a reason to me or another if not provided by us.
– jdf
Jun 7 at 8:08
5
5
What do you hope to achieve by saying "I don't want to go to your wedding because you never hang out with us anymore."? Do you want to shame them into being your friend again? Do you just want to vent? Do you want to be friends with them again?
– Azor Ahai
Jun 6 at 21:35
What do you hope to achieve by saying "I don't want to go to your wedding because you never hang out with us anymore."? Do you want to shame them into being your friend again? Do you just want to vent? Do you want to be friends with them again?
– Azor Ahai
Jun 6 at 21:35
1
1
Nobody of the group of friends is going to the wedding. I do think he will ask for a reason to me or another if not provided by us.
– jdf
Jun 7 at 8:08
Nobody of the group of friends is going to the wedding. I do think he will ask for a reason to me or another if not provided by us.
– jdf
Jun 7 at 8:08
add a comment |
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
I'd like to pose a slight frame challenge: why not go to the wedding.
You say you don't feel like going because, despite a good faith effort on your side to keep in touch, they never responded and you feel abandoned. It seems to me like you care about this person, and not going will only hurt your situation by enforcing the distance that you previously tried to reduce. If instead you attend the wedding, you have an opportunity to establish a means of communication again! If they are still interested (which they appear to be since they invited you), your original goal will be completed.
I have been on the other side of that equation. Years ago, I lost contact with a very good friend of mine when they went overseas to work and I stayed with my new family after my wedding. They tried to keep in touch, but I never really responded. This is despite the fact that I wanted to keep in touch myself -- I just didn't, to my regret. After many years of silence, we met again last Christmas and have reestablished our strong friendship, and are now talking regularly again!
For some reason or another, people lose contact. Life happens. Give them another chance; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I wouldn't pass on that opportunity.
add a comment |
You're over-thinking it.
People who send out invitations want you to respond in a timely manner.
Not responding is literally the worst thing you can do. Respond with a simple "Best Wishes" and state that you can't make it. You don't need to give them a reason.
** Note: Got married last year. It was a giant pain when over 25% of invites was not responded to. Just tell me you're not coming so I can invite other people!!!
Some of the information contained in this post requires additional references. Please edit to add citations to reliable sources that support the assertions made here. Unsourced material may be disputed or deleted.
2
I've edited a comment from OP into the post: that they didn't want tobeat around the bush for the reason.Can you explain to them why you're saying they don't need to give a reason? Can you add back up for that too, please?
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 6 at 19:15
Please provide evidence/reasoning for why this is the literal worst thing you can do.
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:23
@Tinkeringbell I see my comments here were deleted. Fair enough, that's policy. But this answer is still making wild unsubstantiated claims. Maybe this answer can get a post notice too?
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:24
1
@curiousdannii Done, my apologies for the slow response time. Nelson, please see my previous comment and curiousdannii's question as well, your answer does still need some elaboration on those parts.
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 10 at 8:50
add a comment |
Your Answer
StackExchange.ready(function()
var channelOptions =
tags: "".split(" "),
id: "680"
;
initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);
StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function()
// Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled)
StackExchange.using("snippets", function()
createEditor();
);
else
createEditor();
);
function createEditor()
StackExchange.prepareEditor(
heartbeatType: 'answer',
autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
convertImagesToLinks: false,
noModals: true,
showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
reputationToPostImages: null,
bindNavPrevention: true,
postfix: "",
imageUploader:
brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
allowUrls: true
,
noCode: true, onDemand: true,
discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
);
);
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function ()
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2finterpersonal.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f21980%2fhow-to-decline-a-wedding-invitation-from-a-friend-i-havent-seen-in-years%23new-answer', 'question_page');
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
I'd like to pose a slight frame challenge: why not go to the wedding.
You say you don't feel like going because, despite a good faith effort on your side to keep in touch, they never responded and you feel abandoned. It seems to me like you care about this person, and not going will only hurt your situation by enforcing the distance that you previously tried to reduce. If instead you attend the wedding, you have an opportunity to establish a means of communication again! If they are still interested (which they appear to be since they invited you), your original goal will be completed.
I have been on the other side of that equation. Years ago, I lost contact with a very good friend of mine when they went overseas to work and I stayed with my new family after my wedding. They tried to keep in touch, but I never really responded. This is despite the fact that I wanted to keep in touch myself -- I just didn't, to my regret. After many years of silence, we met again last Christmas and have reestablished our strong friendship, and are now talking regularly again!
For some reason or another, people lose contact. Life happens. Give them another chance; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I wouldn't pass on that opportunity.
add a comment |
I'd like to pose a slight frame challenge: why not go to the wedding.
You say you don't feel like going because, despite a good faith effort on your side to keep in touch, they never responded and you feel abandoned. It seems to me like you care about this person, and not going will only hurt your situation by enforcing the distance that you previously tried to reduce. If instead you attend the wedding, you have an opportunity to establish a means of communication again! If they are still interested (which they appear to be since they invited you), your original goal will be completed.
I have been on the other side of that equation. Years ago, I lost contact with a very good friend of mine when they went overseas to work and I stayed with my new family after my wedding. They tried to keep in touch, but I never really responded. This is despite the fact that I wanted to keep in touch myself -- I just didn't, to my regret. After many years of silence, we met again last Christmas and have reestablished our strong friendship, and are now talking regularly again!
For some reason or another, people lose contact. Life happens. Give them another chance; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I wouldn't pass on that opportunity.
add a comment |
I'd like to pose a slight frame challenge: why not go to the wedding.
You say you don't feel like going because, despite a good faith effort on your side to keep in touch, they never responded and you feel abandoned. It seems to me like you care about this person, and not going will only hurt your situation by enforcing the distance that you previously tried to reduce. If instead you attend the wedding, you have an opportunity to establish a means of communication again! If they are still interested (which they appear to be since they invited you), your original goal will be completed.
I have been on the other side of that equation. Years ago, I lost contact with a very good friend of mine when they went overseas to work and I stayed with my new family after my wedding. They tried to keep in touch, but I never really responded. This is despite the fact that I wanted to keep in touch myself -- I just didn't, to my regret. After many years of silence, we met again last Christmas and have reestablished our strong friendship, and are now talking regularly again!
For some reason or another, people lose contact. Life happens. Give them another chance; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I wouldn't pass on that opportunity.
I'd like to pose a slight frame challenge: why not go to the wedding.
You say you don't feel like going because, despite a good faith effort on your side to keep in touch, they never responded and you feel abandoned. It seems to me like you care about this person, and not going will only hurt your situation by enforcing the distance that you previously tried to reduce. If instead you attend the wedding, you have an opportunity to establish a means of communication again! If they are still interested (which they appear to be since they invited you), your original goal will be completed.
I have been on the other side of that equation. Years ago, I lost contact with a very good friend of mine when they went overseas to work and I stayed with my new family after my wedding. They tried to keep in touch, but I never really responded. This is despite the fact that I wanted to keep in touch myself -- I just didn't, to my regret. After many years of silence, we met again last Christmas and have reestablished our strong friendship, and are now talking regularly again!
For some reason or another, people lose contact. Life happens. Give them another chance; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I wouldn't pass on that opportunity.
edited Jun 6 at 20:07
Cullub
1033 bronze badges
1033 bronze badges
answered Jun 6 at 17:41
Andreas GrapentinAndreas Grapentin
3751 silver badge6 bronze badges
3751 silver badge6 bronze badges
add a comment |
add a comment |
You're over-thinking it.
People who send out invitations want you to respond in a timely manner.
Not responding is literally the worst thing you can do. Respond with a simple "Best Wishes" and state that you can't make it. You don't need to give them a reason.
** Note: Got married last year. It was a giant pain when over 25% of invites was not responded to. Just tell me you're not coming so I can invite other people!!!
Some of the information contained in this post requires additional references. Please edit to add citations to reliable sources that support the assertions made here. Unsourced material may be disputed or deleted.
2
I've edited a comment from OP into the post: that they didn't want tobeat around the bush for the reason.Can you explain to them why you're saying they don't need to give a reason? Can you add back up for that too, please?
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 6 at 19:15
Please provide evidence/reasoning for why this is the literal worst thing you can do.
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:23
@Tinkeringbell I see my comments here were deleted. Fair enough, that's policy. But this answer is still making wild unsubstantiated claims. Maybe this answer can get a post notice too?
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:24
1
@curiousdannii Done, my apologies for the slow response time. Nelson, please see my previous comment and curiousdannii's question as well, your answer does still need some elaboration on those parts.
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 10 at 8:50
add a comment |
You're over-thinking it.
People who send out invitations want you to respond in a timely manner.
Not responding is literally the worst thing you can do. Respond with a simple "Best Wishes" and state that you can't make it. You don't need to give them a reason.
** Note: Got married last year. It was a giant pain when over 25% of invites was not responded to. Just tell me you're not coming so I can invite other people!!!
Some of the information contained in this post requires additional references. Please edit to add citations to reliable sources that support the assertions made here. Unsourced material may be disputed or deleted.
2
I've edited a comment from OP into the post: that they didn't want tobeat around the bush for the reason.Can you explain to them why you're saying they don't need to give a reason? Can you add back up for that too, please?
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 6 at 19:15
Please provide evidence/reasoning for why this is the literal worst thing you can do.
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:23
@Tinkeringbell I see my comments here were deleted. Fair enough, that's policy. But this answer is still making wild unsubstantiated claims. Maybe this answer can get a post notice too?
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:24
1
@curiousdannii Done, my apologies for the slow response time. Nelson, please see my previous comment and curiousdannii's question as well, your answer does still need some elaboration on those parts.
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 10 at 8:50
add a comment |
You're over-thinking it.
People who send out invitations want you to respond in a timely manner.
Not responding is literally the worst thing you can do. Respond with a simple "Best Wishes" and state that you can't make it. You don't need to give them a reason.
** Note: Got married last year. It was a giant pain when over 25% of invites was not responded to. Just tell me you're not coming so I can invite other people!!!
You're over-thinking it.
People who send out invitations want you to respond in a timely manner.
Not responding is literally the worst thing you can do. Respond with a simple "Best Wishes" and state that you can't make it. You don't need to give them a reason.
** Note: Got married last year. It was a giant pain when over 25% of invites was not responded to. Just tell me you're not coming so I can invite other people!!!
edited Jun 6 at 9:51
answered Jun 6 at 9:22
NelsonNelson
6902 silver badges9 bronze badges
6902 silver badges9 bronze badges
Some of the information contained in this post requires additional references. Please edit to add citations to reliable sources that support the assertions made here. Unsourced material may be disputed or deleted.
Some of the information contained in this post requires additional references. Please edit to add citations to reliable sources that support the assertions made here. Unsourced material may be disputed or deleted.
2
I've edited a comment from OP into the post: that they didn't want tobeat around the bush for the reason.Can you explain to them why you're saying they don't need to give a reason? Can you add back up for that too, please?
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 6 at 19:15
Please provide evidence/reasoning for why this is the literal worst thing you can do.
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:23
@Tinkeringbell I see my comments here were deleted. Fair enough, that's policy. But this answer is still making wild unsubstantiated claims. Maybe this answer can get a post notice too?
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:24
1
@curiousdannii Done, my apologies for the slow response time. Nelson, please see my previous comment and curiousdannii's question as well, your answer does still need some elaboration on those parts.
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 10 at 8:50
add a comment |
2
I've edited a comment from OP into the post: that they didn't want tobeat around the bush for the reason.Can you explain to them why you're saying they don't need to give a reason? Can you add back up for that too, please?
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 6 at 19:15
Please provide evidence/reasoning for why this is the literal worst thing you can do.
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:23
@Tinkeringbell I see my comments here were deleted. Fair enough, that's policy. But this answer is still making wild unsubstantiated claims. Maybe this answer can get a post notice too?
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:24
1
@curiousdannii Done, my apologies for the slow response time. Nelson, please see my previous comment and curiousdannii's question as well, your answer does still need some elaboration on those parts.
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 10 at 8:50
2
2
I've edited a comment from OP into the post: that they didn't want to
beat around the bush for the reason. Can you explain to them why you're saying they don't need to give a reason? Can you add back up for that too, please?– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 6 at 19:15
I've edited a comment from OP into the post: that they didn't want to
beat around the bush for the reason. Can you explain to them why you're saying they don't need to give a reason? Can you add back up for that too, please?– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 6 at 19:15
Please provide evidence/reasoning for why this is the literal worst thing you can do.
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:23
Please provide evidence/reasoning for why this is the literal worst thing you can do.
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:23
@Tinkeringbell I see my comments here were deleted. Fair enough, that's policy. But this answer is still making wild unsubstantiated claims. Maybe this answer can get a post notice too?
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:24
@Tinkeringbell I see my comments here were deleted. Fair enough, that's policy. But this answer is still making wild unsubstantiated claims. Maybe this answer can get a post notice too?
– curiousdannii
Jun 8 at 1:24
1
1
@curiousdannii Done, my apologies for the slow response time. Nelson, please see my previous comment and curiousdannii's question as well, your answer does still need some elaboration on those parts.
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 10 at 8:50
@curiousdannii Done, my apologies for the slow response time. Nelson, please see my previous comment and curiousdannii's question as well, your answer does still need some elaboration on those parts.
– Tinkeringbell♦
Jun 10 at 8:50
add a comment |
Thanks for contributing an answer to Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange!
- Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!
But avoid …
- Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.
- Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.
To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function ()
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2finterpersonal.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f21980%2fhow-to-decline-a-wedding-invitation-from-a-friend-i-havent-seen-in-years%23new-answer', 'question_page');
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
5
What do you hope to achieve by saying "I don't want to go to your wedding because you never hang out with us anymore."? Do you want to shame them into being your friend again? Do you just want to vent? Do you want to be friends with them again?
– Azor Ahai
Jun 6 at 21:35
1
Nobody of the group of friends is going to the wedding. I do think he will ask for a reason to me or another if not provided by us.
– jdf
Jun 7 at 8:08